What About the other 29 days?

How can you fall in love with someone just spending one day per month with them? How can you know you want to spend more time with that person, or even a lifetime with them?  I hate to sound cliché, but it really is just like the movies and books….you just know!

So, what do you do the other 29-30 days of the month that you aren’t together?

Do you cry all day and eat gallons of ice cream?  Maybe for some, but I have lactose intolerance so that would not be a very good idea and would guarantee no one would want to be within 50 feet of me.  Plus, if you eat tons of ice cream and get all fat you’ll just feel worse.

Do you go find a “Mr. Right Now” to occupy your time when you are away from Mr Right?  That may work for some.  But if you really love someone do you want to use a proxy?  I guess if you have an “open” relationship it could work.  Rarely are both parties in agreement 100% about an open relationship.  Someone always ends up being a little more involved than the other.

Do you forget about that person for those 29 days?  Out of sight out of mind?

Do you get tired of being alone all the time and eventually throw in the towel?  It’s not unreasonable to want to spend more that one day per month with someone you are falling in love with.

First of all, I can say that for me, I was not depressed and sad the whole time we were apart.  Maybe I would be sad for a day or so after we would part ways, but I was quick to get back to my life and start preparing for our next visit.  In fact, each time we knew the date of our next meeting, the excitement would build just like our first meeting.

Secondly, I can say I have never been tempted to want a “Mr Right-now” because anyone else would pale by comparison to French Charming!!  Why eat Jello every day, which isn’t truly satisfying, when you can have creme brûlée once a month, which is a special treat?  Personally, I prefer to wait for something special.  Plus, I am truly a monogamist.  I never did well dating more than one man at the same time.

So what did I do to occupy my time?  I continued living my life.  I kept doing all the things I loved doing before I met French Charming.  I had been working out with a trainer.  I continued.  I had been taking salsa lessons….I continued.  I even decided to learn French, so I found a tutor!

How did we get closer despite the distance?  We made time for each other each day.  I got up a little earlier than normal to FaceTime with him before work.  He stayed up a little later than normal to FaceTime with me before bed.  Unless I was working overnight or he was flying, we talked twice a day with texts in between.

We didn’t NEED to know where the other was or what they were doing.  We WANTED to be a part of each other’s day.  We voluntarily shared what we were doing as a way to keep the other included, sending pictures and videos of events etc.  There’s a difference between sharing life events and giving a laundry list of chores.  It wasn’t like those weird people who tell their boyfriends everything they ate that day.  We just shared our days as we would have done at the dinner table if we would be together.

Is it tough to organize a day including someone 7 time zones away?  Yes, sometimes, but it’s what you do when you want to share your life with someone far away.  What I’ve learned is that the efforts that seemed so difficult and tedious with others were so easy with French Charming.

Now, is one day a month enough?  Of course not!!  Since we had firmly established that we both really liked each other, we needed to find ways to spend more time together. How?  Stay tuned next week…..